REVERIE INBOX

[stirtheblood]

You can try texting Vicious if you want.

Comments

[stirtheblood]

Overcomin' the old self, huh...? Ya think I got a new self?

[There are two more balls. This time he tosses one to Ingo before he makes his throw, and it's right on the edge of the center circle.]

[derailer]

[He catches this one in both hands, turning to face Vicious and watch.]

We all have a new self.

—Bravo! You are coming ever closer to the center!

[stirtheblood]

Heeh... That's interestin' to hear from someone who's been workin' so hard to get back his old self.

[derailer]

...Even when I get it, I am not going to be the same person I was before. That would just be forgetting everything that happened to me here and in Hisui, instead.

[stirtheblood]

So who do ya wanna be goin' forward?

[derailer]

Better than I was yesterday.

[He manages to hit the bullseye this time he throws the ball.]

[stirtheblood]

Heeeh... Not bad.

[He walks over to retrieve the balls from the floor.]

But most of the time bein' 'better' ain't as simple as hittin' a bullseye, y'know.

[derailer]

Of course. That is why it is an ongoing project for the rest of my life.

[stirtheblood]

I don't just mean it's harder. I mean sometimes there ain't a "better" way to go. Just the way ya wanna go and the way ya don't wanna go.

[derailer]

Finding where you want to go is being "better" at being true to yourself, too.

[stirtheblood]

Heh. Guess that's one way to look at it.

[derailer]

Who do you want to be going forward?

[stirtheblood]

Hmmm.

[As he crouches to pick up a ball.]

I've always gone where I wanna go. But that's mostly been alone, and that's boring. I wanna see what crazy stuff other people get up to while they're chasin' what they want. Help 'em out. And maybe I'll get surprised with somethin' I couldn't even have imagined.

[Vicious straightens and tosses three juggling balls at Ingo in quick succession]

[derailer]

[He catches one of them, barely, and raises an arm to instinctively block the other two from hitting him, only realizing after he does so that this is not what he is supposed to be doing. He is distracted by the conversation, but now he's also distracted from the conversation by this happening, so he looks just generally out of it as he tries to decide which to pursue.]

...I do not think these are bad goals to have, but...

[stirtheblood]

[Vicious starts to toss his own balls around absently as he waits for Ingo to recover. He's basically just juggling now.]

But what?

[derailer]

They are all reactive. You have named things that you would like to observe in other people, but the fact that you would like to help is the only personal goal you have.

[He picks up the other balls from the ground.]

[stirtheblood]

Well, my "personal goal" used to be to whip the wild, angry transgressors of the world into a frenzy and burn everythin' to the ground.

But this one seemed more interestin'.

[derailer]

[His frown goes more pronounced, though it is for a variety of reasons.]

...I just think you could also benefit from more personal goals. That is all.

[stirtheblood]

Yeah? What do ya think the benefit would be?

[derailer]

No matter what kind of environment you are in, however hostile, however interesting or boring it is, if your goal is to progress yourself, independently, then you will never be separated from that goal. I know you take very little for granted. But even if you are accepting of the unpredictability of fate, as long as you are you, you have some control over yourself.

[stirtheblood]

Oh, sure. But I'm already pretty great.

[derailer]

There is room for improvement.

[stirtheblood]

Oh yeah? What do ya think I should improve on?

[derailer]

Do not say it like that. I realize my comment was flippant, but this is not a matter of saying you "should" improve. Your life is your own, and self-improvement is not a matter of obligation. It is a matter of direction.

But I suggest you begin with self-awareness.

[stirtheblood]

...Hm. Well, s'true I've missed on that a few times.