REVERIE INBOX

[stirtheblood]

You can try texting Vicious if you want.

Comments

[stirtheblood]

...Well, I do got enforcers or monsters tryin' to kill me basically all the time. Knights and stuff sometimes too. So it ain't exactly a total lack of stimulation.

[derailer]

It is not really "fun" if they are so actively hostile, though...

[stirtheblood]

Sure it is, long as they're some kinda challenge. I'd be in a lotta trouble if I couldn't have fun while facin' hostility.

[derailer]

...True enough.

[He will concede this.]

[stirtheblood]

...Was still pretty lonely, though.

[a big concession from Vicious]

Way more fun watchin' Kanata and the rest of 'em fight 'em off too.

[derailer]

Are they very talented at fighting?

[stirtheblood]

They are now. 'Course they've gotten a lot stronger usin' their blood sins.

[derailer]

"Blood sin?"

[That sounds a little bit sketchy.]

[stirtheblood]

Huh, guess I ain't told you about those before? Normally when someone's condemned as a transgressor, they get taken out by the enforcers pretty quick. But if they meet me, and they can own their sin, I can let them use it as a weapon. My guns're mine.

[derailer]

...This sounds somewhat similar to the copies of us that appeared the other day... Though, I do not think any particular sin or crime was required for those. And if the card is meant to be a weapon, I have not at all figured out how to use it, yet.

[stirtheblood]

We ran into somethin' called Truesight Stones, before. They show everyone their true inner self, or whatever, kinda like what happened here the other day. That ain't quite the same as gettin' a blood sin, but it did upgrade 'em. Maybe the card's just an upgrade for later?

[derailer]

I do not have anything in particular to upgrade. ...But, I do feel better having addressed such issues head-on. So I think I can be satisfied with only that.

[stirtheblood]

Oh yeah? What issues were you addressin'?

[derailer]

...Mmmnnn.

[He accepted them and all, but they were embarrassing enough to passively hear being spoken out loud by a separate entity. Not to mention:]

It is a little hard to talk about that sort of thing without it sounding like I am asking for sympathy or reassurance... Do you not feel similarly about your own copy? Or did you not encounter him?

[stirtheblood]

...Yeah, I ran into him. It was interestin'. When I did the truesight stone thing I thought I'd accepted everythin' I was ignorin'... Well, maybe that was true then. Stuff's a little different now.

[derailer]

Ha...! That sounds like an understatement. I admit, I did encounter him myself. So maybe it's unfair to you if I do not at least attempt to explain my own.

[stirtheblood]

Ain't really a matter of fairness. You can explain if ya want.

[a small twitch of his lips]

Promise I won't offer sympathy.

[derailer]

[He huffs in embarrassment. But fine! He can find a way to phrase this that is cool and casual and normal!]

...He was just very... pessimistic. As if the worst outcome in everything was going to happen, and I should just accept it preemptively, to spare myself the heartbreak. I shouldn't have any aspirations for myself. And so on. But, I can understand he was only trying to prevent me from being hurt again. I am not the only one who has had that kind of reaction to myself...

[stirtheblood]

Huh, ya mean your brother tryin' to protect ya from gettin' hurt? I guess. Feels like there's some different things there, though.

...I used to think there was no point in gettin' close to people, 'cause they'd turn on me and abandon me eventually. And for a while, I'd convinced myself I didn't care. The truesight stone showed me that ain't true. I've always been scared of bein' hated by the people I care about, and that's why I tried not to care.

I care now. But I guess I ain't really any less scared or convinced they'll give up on me. Still... acknowledgin' the worst might happen and avoidin' doin' stuff that you wanna do because of it are two different things.

[derailer]

Emmet isn't who I was most referring to...

[Though once he hears it, it makes sense that Vicious would say it. He figured whatever happened between Vicious and Emmet was something like that, but that's so cute... He'll set that aside.]

...But, I agree. That is more or less where I stand, in accepting it as a part of myself. Perhaps I am doomed, and perhaps I am pathetic, and perhaps other people look down on me. But there is no guarantee or concrete evidence that this is absolutely true. And what is the point in believing it to be, even if it is?

[stirtheblood]

...Yeah. Well, for me, even if it is, and even if I believe it, what's the point in actin' based on it? If it's like that no matter what, I may as well just do what I want anyway. I'll deal with stuff when it happens.

And I could always be wrong. People could surprise me. S'happened before.

[derailer]

Mmm. You are an inspirational example!

[stirtheblood]

See? My levels of self-awareness are already inspirin'.

[derailer]

You can be inspired by someone without them being self-aware. If I admire you for being able to make a decent life for yourself out of such horrible circumstances, that admiration exists whether or not you are making a deliberate philosophical choice in doing so. The persistence is the inspirational part.

[stirtheblood]

Well, do ya think I'm makin' a deliberate philosophical choice in doin' so, or not?